Balls and Blocks Don't Belong Together
by Dalek Spark
Summary: Not good at summaries o O
1. Chapter 1

"SpaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAce!" "Don't you ever shut up?" Wheatley yelled at Space Core, who, of course, ignored him as usual. After getting nonstop calls from GLaDOS, he had disabled his communicator (he had been told he would die if he ever did that) and now was getting irritating text messages taunting him like "You are welcomed back to Aperture. Oh, I forgot you were still in space. My bad." And little things like that. Wheatley had tried to disable the messaging but when he started smoking slightly, he let it off and had to deal with Her.

"Spacespacespacespacespacespa cespacespacespacespacespaces pace! Go to space jail! SpAAAaaaaaAAAAAaaaaaaace!" Space Core screamed, going out of orbit "I'm in SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!" "Mate! Pipe down! I don't wanna hear about bloody space again!" Wheatley was suddenly distracted by a message that popped up in his inbox "I was wondering, do you know the definition of Pneumonoultramicroscopicsili covolcanoconiosis?"

Of course, being the moron he was, Wheatley didn't

"Big black hole in space! Space hole! Black hole in space! Space wins! Space hole!" Wheatley woke up from sleep mode to hear a slightly more crazed space core screaming about black hole. Then, suddenly, it was silent. "Space Core? Mate? Are you there?" Wheatley said aloud and was only greeted by the quiet depths of space. "Where are you, Space Core?" Wheatley said in a small frightened voice "Mate?" and jumped as a call flared up.

"_What is happening up there, moron?! Did you disable my—" _GLaDOS was cut off when Wheatley found himself speeding forward and going faster and faster, although the reason was unknown, it seemed as if a hole opening in front of him…. And sucked him into it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Not in space! No space, space, wanna go back to space! Space! Hate Earth!" Wheatley opened his optic, about to shush the insane Space Core and instead screamed as he saw teeth coming toward him. "Aaaahhhh!" Wheatley yelled and flailed his upper handle in fright, hearing a startled yelp and a loud growl.

A blocky, dog-type creature snarled and grabbed Wheatley's handle in its teeth, bitng down, hard. "Owww! Help! Mate! Anybody! This is worse than birds! Aaaahhhh!" the dog only increased its maddened attack, shaking him back and forth. "This really hurts! I mean, could somebody pick me up?! Dog! Dog! Get out! AAAAAAHHH!" Wheatley caught a glimpse of glowing white and suddenly felt the dog's jaws open up and leave. What he saw next only frightened him more. Wheatley closed his blue optic and tried to scream but all that came out was a jumbled mass of static.

"Steve, I found a-uh, whatever it is." He heard a man's voice, very deep and rather scary. The core moved his still throbbing handle and let out a few sparks when footsteps on grass reached his processor and a voice almost identical to the first but a lot higher spoke.

"What?! Herobrine, balls are fairy tales! What is one doing here? In my wheat field? With Rusty running around?" Wheatley's optic snapped open in fear as he saw two block men the exact same as each other, both holding blue swords. The only difference was one had purple eyes and one had glowing white eyes. Both stared at him curiously and jumped as Space Core suddenly shouted "Space cops! Go to space jail! SPAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAA AAAaaaaaace!"

"So, what do we do with them?" The purple eyed one with the high voice whispered to the white eyed one. "I really don't know. Balls are forbidden in Minecraft. Everyone, even the chickens know that and they're stupid as the zombies." "Um, could somebody pick me up?" Wheatley ventured nervously. The two blocky people turned their heads his way and shrugged to the other. "What should we do with him first, Steve? The, uh, other one seems content to talk about the Void, whilst the one with a blue eye wants to be picked up." Herobrine said to Steve. Steve walked a little closer to Wheatley, the moronic sphere closing his optic half-way and shivering as Steve put his hand on his hull. "Warm metal," Steve motioned for Herobrine "Like the iron golems."

"I think we should hide them," Herobrine scratched his head "Somewhere away from the villagers and the guards. If they got to know about the balls, they would go absolutely berserk and—" his sentence was cut off by a hiss and a blinding light….


	3. Chapter 3

A green creature with four legs and wearing a golden hat stood on a house, rustling as it moved. Wheatley followed it with his optic, interested because he had never seen anything like it. Space Core, on the other hand, was spazzing out. "SPACESPACESPACESPACEWANTNEED SPACE!" he yelled frantically, causing the green thing's face to etch up in a odd look. "This is outrageous!" it said "Balls? In MINECRAFT? Terrible! Absolutely TERRIBLE!" Steve was the only one taking action right now, Wallace had ran off for help. "Don't tell anyone about this, Creeper!" he shouted, shaking his blocky fist "If you do, I promise to tell everyone that you are afraid of villagers!" the creature hissed in dismay "But balls are against the law...completely AGAINST THE LAW!" it protested "And so are creepers in the village premises!" Steve glared.

Wheatley started to go rather crazy. "Do you mean I'll go to Android Hell or somewhere?" he whimpered "Because that would be bloody awful!" "Ummm, anda-whatsit?" the confused human said, bewildered. Wheatley half closed his optic "Humans are stupid." the creeper with the golden hat's frown seemed to turn up a little at the corners "Now that is true. Very, very true." and then turned its head sideways as distant shouting got near, at least twenty block people wielding diamond pickaxes, stone hoes, golden shovels, and iron axes coming nearer. Steve took one look and ran. Wheatley watched from the ground, frightened, simulated gasps emitting from his sound processors. "Help-help!" he started to scream.

The creeper sighed and jumped off the house, landing in a puddle of water, and promptly blew up.


End file.
